


Sundown

by JaneyKatherineHummingbird



Series: Snippets of Sadness and Angst [12]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Death, F/M, Family of Choice, Sadness, dont say i didn't warn you, everyone loved Jim, jim as Sunshine, terminal illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyKatherineHummingbird/pseuds/JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: Jim's friends get ready to say good-bye as he's dying from his terminal illness.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sad Alternate ending to The Sunshine In Room 296. It diverges from that fic after chapter 2.
> 
> Forgive me for this. My muse goes super angsty sometimes.

"Bones?" Jim said faintly one afternoon during her daily visit. "Can you do something for me?"

"What is it, Jim?" Leah asked, pausing in the middle of the mystery she was reading him. Jim loved mysteries, especially the classics, but he was too weak now to hold a PADD or book for long, so Leah often read to him when she stopped in.

"Make sure they don't put a stupid wig on me for the funeral. I want to be wearing the dark blue hat with the silver star on it that Pike gave me. You know which one that is?"

Leah nodded around the lump in her throat. It hurt hearing him talk about his impending death, but it WAS coming, denial or not and she knew it. He'd been moved to hospice soon after deciding to end the treatments that weren't doing him any good. At most, he had two, maybe three weeks left now. 

"Okay, Jim. I'll tell them," she managed, swallowing the emotion. She wasn't ready to lose Jim, she wasn't. He'd been gradually giving last requests randomly during their visits and she'd never get used to it. 

"Hey, Bones, don't check out on me now, we've still got to find out who Dun it." Jim squeezed her hand with his thin one, blue eyes looking at her sympathetically. 

"Sorry," she apologized. "Its hard for me to think about right now. How can I imagine a world with no Jim Kirk in it?" 

"Aww, Bones," he sighed. "You can live knowing you made my last days really happy. I've never had a friend like you." 

"Me, either, Jim. Now, back to the story before I turn into a wreck." She wiped her eyes and returned to the book, Jim continuing to eye her with tender affection. 

Over the next week, Jim went further downhill and his friends from the hospital started paying long goodbye visits. After much thought, Leah brought in Joanna one last time to talk to Mr. Sunshine. 

Jim was zoning in and out a lot, but he was visibly excited to see the girl. Joanna was very somber when she saw how thin and pale Jim was compared to the last visit. 

"Hey, Jo," he said as brightly as he could. 

"Hi, Mr. Jim," she said politely. "How are you feeling?"

"Not so bad most of the time. They have me on a lot of pain medicine, though."

"For your back?" Jo asked.

"That--and other things," Jim admitted. "Did your mom tell you about....what's going to happen?"

"Yes. I'm really sad for you, Mr. Jim. I wanted you to get better and go fly on a Starship." 

"So did I, Jo. Guess I'll go fly one in heaven, instead." 

Leah stifled a pained sound at this.

"Nasty tumors," Joanna glowered. "I want to beat it up."

"I agree with that sentiment."

"Are you scared about dying, Mr. Jim?" Leah tensed at the blunt question, but Jim sent her a look that said he was okay with the inquiry. 

"Sometimes I am, But mostly because It will make you guys sad. I don't want you or your mommy to be sad, Jo."

"We can't help it, Jim. We like you too much," she said plaintively. 

"And I like you, too," Jim smiled. Now tell me about what you've been up to."

So she did and they had a nice long visit, Jo carefully giving Jim a hug goodbye. 

Four days later, Leah got a call from Pike just as she walked in her front door after work.

"Doctor, It's Jim. You'd better get over here."

"Is it time?" She choked out.

"Yeah. He's on his way out, I'm afraid." The Admiral sounded unusually gruff, like he was trying to hide his real feelings.

"Okay. I'll be over as soon as possible. Tell him I'm coming."

She took a deep breath and went in to tell Joanna to get ready to go to her friend's house. Jim needed her.

Leah tiptoed into Jim's room, hoping he wasn't already gone, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw his vitals were still there, if weak. Pike looked up from Jim's bedside with a relieved expression. 

"Good. You're here. He refused to die without your presence, says you make everything better." 

Tears filled her eyes as she looked down at the unconscious Jim, chest barely rising with the shallow breaths he was taking. He was but a shell of the man he'd been when she'd first met him, ravaged by the horrible disease. That face was as serene and noble as ever  
though, gaunt as it had become. 

She gently leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm here, Jim." She whispered. "Are you ready to go?"

"Now I am, Bones," came Jim's voice faintly. He tried to smile at her and she saw the blue eyes flutter open. 

"Thank you, Leah.....you've meant a lot to me......" 

"You're welcome, Jim. You're a good soul, you blue-eyed rascal." She told him honestly. "I'm going to miss you. So is everyone at the hospital." 

"It was a good life," he murmured contentedly. "Chris...."

"Yes, Jim?" 

"Thanks......for.....being there."

The Admiral swallowed hard. 

"No where else I'd rather be, Jim." He said huskily, patting the dying man's arm. 

Jim fell asleep for awhile, waking one last time to say, "love you, Bones," before lapsing into unconsciousness again. 

Leah held tightly to Jim's hand, listening for every faint breath as they grew fewer and fewer. 

As the sun dipped below the horizon, the human Sunshine quietly departed with it, slipping out of life without a sound. 

Leah laid her head on Jim's shoulder and allowed herself a few quiet tears once it was clear he was gone, his last words echoing in her mind, adding an extra stab to the grief. 

"Oh, Jim. I loved you, too." She whispered. "I really did." Leaning over, she placed a good-bye kiss on his cool forehead before stepping back and making room for the staff to do their jobs.   
****************

 

Jim's instructions for his funeral garb were faithfully carried out by his friends and they smiled through their tears at the sight of Jim's body decked out in a white suit and dark blue beanie.

"Even in death, his fashion choices remain questionable," Spock said, earning an eyebrow from his wife.

"Yeah, but white was totally his color," said Gaila. "He made me swear not to wear black, because he didn't want it to be a gloomy day."

"Sounds like Jim," Leah said, with a watery smile, noting that everybody close to Jim was NOT wearing a stitch of black, even Spock. It made her heart warm inside, knowing how loyal they were in respecting Jim's wishes. 

"It was," put in Christine, dabbing at her eyes as they stood around the casket paying their respects. "He was so cheerful himself. Always." 

"What will we do without our Sunshine?" Chekov asked sadly, grey eyes rimmed with red.   
"Nothing will be the same."

"It sure won't," Uhura said. "But we can carry on his legacy by making sunshine ourselves--bringing joy to people around us and loving wholeheartedly. That's what Jim did."

Leah thought this was spot on.   
"That's a good plan and exactly what he was. While he flies his heavenly ship, we'll be down here helpin' others and keep going on like he'd want us to. You know he left his Lucky Ducky hat to Joanna?" 

"Aww, that's sweet," sighed Christine. "He left one to each one of us, I think. I got the green fedora." 

"I got the jester hat!" Put in Pavel. 

"And I The garish purple top hat," said Spock with a slight grimace. 

"He gave me the black beret," said Uhura. "It's pretty sharp."

"I got the furry Russian hat!" Exclaimed Gaila. "It's so huge!" 

"For some unknown reason, he decided I should have the elf hat," Admiral Pike said. "Boy never did respect his elders." 

Leah couldn't help but chuckle. 

"I got the weird orange bowler hat and his baseball cap." 

They stared at her.

"Whoa. That means you were really special to him, doctor. His late mom gave him those hats," explained Pike.

The lump in Leah's throat returned and she considered the significance of the gifts as she looked at Jim's still figure again, which now lacked the lines of pain it once held continuously.

Toward the end, he'd been wracked by the agony of the tumor around his spine and they'd had to keep him on the strong stuff just to make it manageable. Much as he'd tried to hide it, Jim's blue eyes had frequently been pools of misery and Leah had felt incredibly helpless seeing him that way. 

"Thank goodness his suffering is over, at least," she mumbled. 

"I agree, Doctor," Spock said, his sensitive hearing picking up her comment. "It was rather difficult to see him so pained." 

They spent a lot of time that day reminiscing about their late friend and thinking about all the ways he'd touched their lives. Leah had only known him for a few months, but he'd only needed a couple weeks to worm his way into her heart. 

Later, as the graveside service came to a close, a ray of sunlight broke through the heavy clouds and bathed them all in its bright glow.

_The Sunshine isn't really gone, after all._


End file.
